Mom Jeans Are Real

I am cruising into my third trimester. It hasn’t hit me yet. I mean it’s hit my thighs, butt, hips and lets not forget the boobs—they’re huge. But as far as my to-do list I’ve been preoccupied.

I did realize rolling into my third trimester it is the middle of September and the weather will be cooling off so I needed some jeans. I’ve bought three maternity items thus far but I don’t think they’ll last me to December.

I strolled into Target stopped at the swim suit section….cute maybe next year. Continued on to the shoes….I need them all. FOCUS Caroline. I find the two tiny racks of maternity clothes and start searching for jeans. The cute ones are a size 4 and nobody pregnant should be a size 4. If you are we aren’t friends. I finally find two pairs of jeans that I think may fit.

I try the first pair on and they’re surprisingly too big. They don’t look good on me. They’re baggy in all the wrong places. I quickly take them off and get a view of my body. We don’t have a full mirror at our house so very rarely have I got to see my entire body during this pregnancy. My thighs are larger and my belly is clearly popped out. I turn to the side and no stretch marks yet and I surprisingly still have my belly button. I rub my belly and embrace the change my body is making. It’s strong and carrying a beautiful healthy baby girl. I should be proud.

I try the next pair on. They’re too big as well but they’re so comfy and for a slight second I think I could grow into them in the next few months. I’m again staring at my growing body and the jeans are all wrong. They’re clearly mom jeans. I felt like I was all of a sudden living up to the “Mom” role. Outdated jeans that are too baggy and too long. It hit me hard. This image of myself. I’ve never seen it before. Outdated too baggy jeans!? What was happening???? This isn’t me. Where had that cute 26 year old girl gone who bought jeans off Nordstrom? Now she was 31 years old trying on jeans in Target and actually considering buying a pair that didn’t fit even the slightest bit correctly. That’s the moment I realized this is happenening. I am becoming a mother. I’m choosing comfort and a good price point over an expensive tailored pair. What else will I be trading out in the months to come? I purchased Girl Wash Your Face and headed home.

That night I was telling my husband how tragic the jean shopping experience was. He was comforting and said it’s okay. It won’t last long. He’s right. This is a season. If the jeans don’t fit oh well. My body is creating a human and if I have a breakdown in Target about the woman I’m becoming vs. the girl I used to be that’s okay. Take it in strides.

If you’re newly pregnant or well versed in maternity jeans and have had this experience during your pregnancy. Amen sister! I used to think I was the only one going through all these pregnancy emotions but I’m not. We’re all so similar and want to get back to those cute tailored Nordstrom jeans.

We’re So Happy You’re Here

I have been working on lots of little projects here recently and I am so excited to finally share I am opening a studio in downtown McAlester. This is something I have been wanting to do for years and never thought I would be able to. This opportunity just kept revealing itself. I truly believe God was pushing me in this direction. The signs are all there and the've slowly been revealing themselves over the past year. 

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After moving to McAlester I was doing weddings out of our house and the walls kept getting smaller. When I first started my company working out of my home was great. It was just occasionally and my fridge accommodated my needs just fine but as my weddings were getting bigger and company growing the events were more often so this wasn't an ideal situation.  I also didn't have sufficient cooling systems and it wasn't worth the heart palpitations and fear that I would wake up to all the floral for the wedding I had been working on to have been ruined over night. I was also pregnant and I kept thinking soon I'll have a 9 month old crawling around rose stems and I couldn't have that. I needed to separate work from my home life.  I also love being around people and being at home alone most days wasn't healthy for me. I had major baby blues my first trimester which also coincided with our move and me trying to figure out where I wanted to take Bloom House. The idea crossed my mine to close her up. Seemed easy enough. 

I found a dream spot that definitely needed a little TLC but I am so excited! I am opening it as a studio but will be able to fulfill arrangements with advanced notice. I'm also excited to bring workshops to McAlester and not just floral workshops. I want to host calligraphers, bakers, photography and anything else that catches my attention. 

We are open for business and will host a grand opening in October! Pop in and say hi! Stay tuned for updates and more information.

Great Expectations.

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I've never had a problem being the new girl. I switched schools in middle school and enjoyed being new.  College same thing. I moved to Tulsa for work and didn't know very many people and had fun meeting new friends but this recent move to a small town in Oklahoma hit me like a ton of bricks. The most surprising thing about it was I was so excited! I was excited about moving to a small town with my husband. I had a cute picture of what our home would be like and it definitely included a large wrap around porch and a tire swing in the front yard.

Sometimes reality blind sides you like a 270lb linebacker...

My husband, John and I got married August 2017 and during our wedding planning and first few months of being married he was job hunting so we were getting prepared to go on our first adventure as a married couple.  We were newlyweds and just enjoying the honeymoon phase of life. This past March he accepted a job in McAlester, Oklahoma which is about an hour and half from Tulsa where we had been living. So we packed up the U-Haul and said see ya later to friends and family and trucked it down the road. The living situation in McAlester wasn't ideal. We had to find something quick and were having no luck so we found a little cabin on the lake and lived about 45 minutes outside of McAlester for a month until we found a rental in town. 

We had put everything in a storage unit until we got settled so the morning I got the keys to the rental I was so excited! I had been looking forward to a change. I was excited for Johns new job and our new adventure in a small town. I had never lived in a small town. I grew up in Norman and after college moved to Tulsa. A small town holds its own charm and I couldn't wait to start making memories in our new home. That morning John had dropped me off at the rental so I could get started on unpacking while he as at work. 

He kissed me and waved goodbye and I shut the door and as his headlights disappeared I was alone in an empty—silent house. Little did I know that would be the feeling I had for months to come. 

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I quickly missed my home in Tulsa. I missed the ease of the city and my friends and family. I had a friend tell me I would go through an adjustment period and she was so right! My husband started his job in March and May thru August he was traveling a week up to six weeks at a time. It was rough. I'm an extrovert and get joy being around others and I couldn't remember a time that I had this much alone time. It wasn't healthy for me. I missed my husband being home at night and being alone in a new city not knowing anyone was far from ideal and since I worked from home I cried a lot. 

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I listened to a podcast and they were talking about expectations and how expectations can make or break you. So I thought about it. What expectations did I have for my life in this new town? What was I doing to make those expectations a reality? What had happened that I was so disappointed? How was I helping my family adjust. Was I making it better or worse? How was I going to readjust my focus so I could enjoy this season in our life. BINGO! It was me! I was my own problem. It was my expectations and attitude it needed a major adjustment.

That week I told my husband I needed to work out of the house. I have had this floral company and I felt that it was the right time to make it a storefront. No more wearing my pjs working on weddings. This was going to be a new endeavor and I needed his support. Instantly I felt better about my expectations and the new town we were living in and as I adjusted my focus on opening a storefront instead of missing my husband and being upset we weren’t living in Tulsa anymore things started to fall in place. As the summer ended my husband returned from his training. Football started, fall sweaters filled the racks and Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte hit the counter I am feeling better about the future ahead and excited to share my journey of opening this little storefront studio! I started this blog to share living in a small town, opening a new business & our new adventure of becoming parents! I figured with this juggling act I could most definitely pick up a few pointers.